(
Note: This silly post was originally published on this wonderful blog http://www.shealynns-faerie-shoppe.blogspot.com/ in September of 2012. I thought it was worth a re-post.)
A Few Suggestions for the Effective Treatment of Post-Reading-Tolkien Syndrome
Do you ever look outside, and wish that there were
elves passing through your backyard?
Do you watch the latest fantasy film and
decide it’s just not good enough?
Do you see mossy knolls and think, “Wouldn’t that make the cutest little Hobbit hole?”
If you answered yes to any one of these questions, you
might have Post-Reading-Tolkien Syndrome (or PRTS for short). PRTS is an
uncomfortable condition, and cannot be treated by the medical community. As a
sufferer of PRTS myself, I've compiled a list of helpful suggestions and
activities to soothe the discomforts brought on by PRTS, and bring you back to
reality with a gentle push, not a shove.
- First, to get yourself in the right frame of mind, you
should brew a cup of tea, and bake/purchase some Lembas or Seed Cakes. If, like
me, you haven’t found a working recipe for Lembas yet, you can substitute
shortbread-it looks right.
- Listen to some music while you bake. Here are a few suggestions:
If you can’t find any of these albums or artists, just
put on a Howard Shore
or Celtic Internet radio station.
Now that you have taken care of the music and the
victuals (wise preparations for any adventure), you have to find another book to
read. This can be a very difficult, and sometimes painful process, and you will
need the music and food to fortify you. Reading any masterwork can make other
books seem sub-par (or reveal the truth, if you will). So you have to let
yourself down slowly. Here are some suggestions to make it easier on yourself:
If you read
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy,
and need another series with a returning king and unlikely heroes, read Lloyd
Alexander’s
Chronicles of Prydain or
The Monster Blood Tattoo Trilogy
by D. M. Cornish (not nearly as silly as it sounds-with a very Tolkien feel!).
If you’re feeling more epic size and fantasy to boot, also read
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, by
Susanna Clarke-which
is an amazing book on its own. If you’re on the younger end, or more interested
in humans, try the
Ranger’s Apprentice Series by
John
Flanagan.
If you read the
Silmarillion, The Lost Tales,
or
Unfinished Tales, and need more dreamy locales, bittersweet endings,
epic romances, legendary heroes, and/or magic, try
The Forgotten Beasts of Eld, by Patricia A. McKillip,
The Hero and the Crown or
Chalice,
Robin McKinley, the
Abhorsen Trilogy by Garth Nix,
Til We Have Faces,
by C. S. Lewis,
Le Morte D’Arthur, or
The Perilous Gard by
Elizabeth Marie Pope.
And finally, if reading a book is too hard right now,
here are five more activities to ease your Post-Reading-Tolkien Syndrome:
- Walk through a forest at twilight
- Watch a movie like Thor,
a miniseries like the 10th Kingdom, or a TV show like Once
Upon a Time.
- Look at Alan
Lee’s and J.
W. Waterhouse’s
art books, or visual guides to England,
Ireland, Scotland,
or Wales.
- Write a story about Elves, Dwarves, or anything else
you wish was (or wasn't) real.
- Phone a similarly suffering friend and commiserate,
then do any of the above activities together.
From one sufferer of PRTS to another, I hope these
suggestions help you on your road to recovery.
R. L. Hendrian
Pioneer in the study of PRTS and its effects.
